How to Have Meaningful Conversations This R U OK Day

This article discusses sensitive mental health topics, including suicide. Please take care while reading and seek support if needed.

As September rolls in, we’re approaching R U OK Day—a day dedicated to connecting with the people in our lives and supporting mental health through meaningful conversations. This day focuses on the importance of checking in with those around us, with the aim of suicide prevention.

Opening up conversations about mental health can feel challenging, but it’s crucial to remember the significant impact that informal support networks—like friends, family, and colleagues—can have. Sometimes, asking a simple question like “R U OK?” can make a big difference and even change someone’s life.

However, before you engage in these important conversations, there are a few key things to keep in mind:

Prioritise Your Own Wellbeing

It’s important to ensure you’re in a good mental space before reaching out to others. If you’re not feeling up to it or don’t feel equipped to have the conversation, consider suggesting someone else from their support network who might be able to help. If you’re unable to genuinely listen at the moment, it’s okay to wait until you can be fully present.

Understand the Conversation Dynamics

Be prepared for various responses. The person you ask may not be ready to talk or might not want to discuss their feelings with you. Here are some tips on how to approach the conversation:

• Timing and Setting: Make sure the environment is private and comfortable. Choose a moment when both of you have enough time for a proper conversation.
• Ask Gently: Start with a relaxed and friendly approach. Use questions like, “How are you going?” or “What’s been happening?” Mention specific changes you’ve noticed, such as, “You seem quieter than usual. How are you doing?”
• Respect Their Space: If they’re not ready to talk, don’t push. Let them know you’re still concerned and available, without making them feel pressured. You might say, “I’m here if you want to talk later” or “Is there someone else you’d prefer to talk to?”

Practice Active Listening

• Be Present: Listen carefully and avoid interrupting. Validate their feelings and experiences without judgment.
• Encourage Reflection: Prompt them to express their thoughts further with questions like, “How are you feeling about that?” or “How long have you felt this way?”
• Show Understanding: Reflect back what you’ve heard in your own words to ensure you’ve understood them correctly.

Encourage Positive Action

• Explore Past Solutions: Ask, “What have you done before to handle similar situations?”
• Offer Support: Enquire, “How would you like me to support you?” or “What’s something enjoyable or relaxing you could do for yourself right now?”
• Suggest Professional Help: If their struggles have persisted for more than two weeks, encourage them to see a mental health professional. Offer to help them find the right resources, saying something like, “It might be helpful to talk to someone who can provide additional support. I’m happy to assist with that.”

Follow-Up

• Check In: Set a reminder to follow up with them in a couple of weeks, or sooner if they’re having a particularly tough time. A simple message like, “I’ve been thinking about you and wanted to see how you’re doing since our last chat,” can show continued care.
• Stay Supportive: Continue to offer your support without judgment. Sometimes, just being there to listen can make a significant difference.

Resources

• At UNE, students can access professionally qualified and registered psychologists, through Counselling and Psychological Services (CAPS)
• For urgent help, contact the UNE Urgent Mental Health Support Line, accessible 24/7. Phone: 1300 661 927 OR Text: 0488 884 169
• Staff can seek support through the Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Phone – 1300 360 364 (phone line operating hours are Mon – Fri:  7am to 9pm) OR via SMS Counselling – 0480 032 310 (text lines are open from Mon – Fri: 7:30am to 7:30pm)
• For immediate crisis support, contact Lifeline
• Call 000 if there’s an emergency

Let’s use R U OK Day as an opportunity to strengthen our connections and support each other as a community at UNE.