Being a Better Human.
In 2017, The Australian Human Rights Commission conducted a randomised survey of university students, including students here at UNE, and released the National Report on Sexual Assault and Sexual Harassment at Australian Universities. The report offered many suggestions for Universities to adopt and while we think those recommendations are fantastic, here at UNE Life we want to do even better!
This initiative was created with a group of students from the ground up, to reflect our campus culture and what we think everyone needs to appreciate – consent, respect and empathy. The campaign is called Be a Better Human, because we don’t just want it to be about what we shouldn’t do; we want it to be about self-improvement for everyone. And when we say ‘everyone’, we really do mean everyone. We’re encouraging everyone who is part of our campus community to take a moment and consider how we can ‘better’ our Behaviour.
If you’re interested in being a better human too, please don’t just stop here – there is more to see, hear, and do. Grab a copy of our booklet and join the discussion in person or online – #BeABetterHuman.
Let’s figure out how we can all be better humans.
Thanks to the amazing team at Flinders University Student Association for their hard work and dedication to this campaign.
Safe Communities
UNE will not tolerate sexual assault, sexual harassment, or gender-based violence,
in any form or in any environment.
Let’s talk about it? How do you define “consent”? Have a read about the importance of affirmative consent, consent in relationships and the importance of communication in consent.
There’s a lot of myths out there about sexual assault and with the digital realm growing faster than ever, it can be hard to keep up. We pose a few myth-busting scenarios and talk about dating apps.
We know these words will illicit all kind of responses, from scoffs of anger about the term to deep sighs about the state of things. But it’s just some words used to describe some things. It’s the THINGS we need to focus on.
Being an everyday hero has never been easier. We talk about what bystander intervention is, why it’s one of the most important things in being a better human, and how to do it effectively.
How to Report
If you haven’t consented to sexual activity, you have a legal right to take action and you
can go to the police and report the sexual assault or rape as a crime.
Sexual Harassment
Sexual harassment is any unwanted or unwelcome sexual behaviour where a reasonable person, having regard for all the circumstances, would have anticipated that the person harassed might feel offended, humiliated or intimidated. It can be a form of discrimination against the victim, and is an inappropriate assertion of power by the perpetrator.
Sexual harassment can occur in person or online. Common examples include:
- Making unwanted remarks regarding a person’s appearance or attractiveness
- Asking a person questions about their relationship or sex life
- Sending emails with sexual content
- Showing a person pornographic pictures on a phone or computer
- Unnecessarily touching the person without their consent
Sexual harassment in the context of school or work can seem pretty straight-forward (we know what’s appropriate and what’s not) but when it comes to meeting people ‘out’ and building relationships, signs can be misread and faux pas made. In any environment, it is important that you assess the situation. If you feel you are in danger, take immediate precautions. If you believe that the person approaching you has simply overstepped their bounds or lacked the ability to read the room (and you); let them know that their behaviour was not okay and that they made you feel uncomfortable. If at any point you think that the comment or behaviour of any individual constitutes sexual harassment and you want to report it, you can do so by contacting the services on the right.
While there are no specific laws (as yet) protecting you against online harassment on dating platforms, most apps and websites–whatever their colour or creed–have their own reporting protocol in place to deal with fake accounts, harassment and online bullying. Get to know the inner workings of your app of choice and how the reporting feature works. In situations where you feel your welfare is in danger take screenshots of the conversation and call the police directly. Here are a few things to remember the next time you start swiping:
- Communication is key, even via text, so read the proverbial ‘chat room’ and make sure the direction the conversation is heading is consensual for both parties.
- Keep in mind that sending a nude or unlocking your private gallery does not mean the receiver has to do the same. ‘An eye for an eye’ does not apply.
- Don’t send unsolicited pics–ask first. Know that if you send a pic before asking, it could be received negatively (this includes the person on the other end going silent). Don’t continue to send images or badger them. You made a choice to send an image, and they made the choice not to humour it.
- If you and the hottie on the other end do decide to exchange pics, don’t take screenshots or save the image to your phone to show friends–they gave permission for you to view the pic only.
Image-based abuse is serious with stats showing that 1 in 5 people have or will be the victim of revenge porn in their lifetime, but in many cases, image-based abuse is not about ‘revenge’, nor is it restricted to ‘porn’. Revenge porn can occur for a range of reasons, and while most image-based abuse is about the sharing of images without consent, it can also include the threat of an image being shared.
Sexual Assault
Sexual Assault is a criminal offence and covers many different types of sexual behaviour that can be understood as unwanted or forced.
These include:
- Indecent Assault – unwanted touching, fondling, masturbation
- Rape – unwanted oral, anal or vaginal penetration, and
- Sexual Harassment – unwanted repeated sexualised comments, “passes”, dirty jokes, sexual questions.
Sexual assault is a violation of trust; exploitation of vulnerability and abuse of power that can happen to anyone regardless of race, gender, sexuality, religion or disability. Sexual violence does not always include physical touch. It might involve, but is not limited to, coercion, manipulation, grooming or other non-physical acts of a sexual kind that make a person feel unsafe.
Myth 1: People are more likely to be sexually assaulted by a stranger, at night, on a dark street or in a park.
Nope. Most sexual offenders are known to the victim. Typically, a relative, partner, friend or peer. It can happen in the victim’s (or the offenders) home at day or night.
Myth 2: You can’t be sexually assaulted by someone you’re in a relationship with, or have had sex with before.
Forcing or coercing someone to have sex when they don’t want to is sexual assault, regardless of the relationship between the perpetrator and victim.
Consent needs to be sought each and every time.
Myth 3: Some people provoke sexual assault by the way they dress or behave.
No one asks or deserves to be sexually assaulted, and dressing to feel comfortable or attractive does not suggest otherwise. Perpetrators are responsible for their own actions.
Myth 4: People can only be sexually assaulted by a man with a penis.
Women, men and people with other gender identities can be sexually assaulted by someone of the same or different gender, by use of an object or Hand.
Myth 5: If the victim didn’t say no, or scream and fight, then it wasn’t a sexual assault.
We all react differently to high-stress situations. Some people fight or flight, while others freeze up and withdraw. Many victims become paralysed with fear, which means they are unable to speak to speak-up or fight back.
Remember, the absence of a clear and enthusiastic yes is a no.
Rape Culture
The term ‘rape culture’ can sound pretty extreme and it elicits all kinds of responses, whether it’s scoffs of anger about the terminology and what it represents, or a deep sigh at the state of things. But what does the term mean? Rape culture is used to describe the environment where sexual violence is normalised and excused–that it’s “just the way things are”.
Rape culture is perpetuated through media and pop-culture by use of misogynistic language and jokes, the objectification of women’s bodies and the glamorisation of violence, creating a culture that ignores women’s rights and safety and makes sexual coercion seem normal. Why is it so dangerous? Because it reinforces the continuum of sexual violence, starting with so called “jokes”, and finishing with rape and murder.
Myths & Rape Culture
Phrases like “she asked for it” or “boys will be boys” are examples of rape culture; so too are attitudes based on gender stereotypes–that being a ‘man’ means you should be dominant and aggressive; that being a ‘woman’ means you need to be submissive and sexually passive; that men ought to score and women ought to be nice and not act so cold. Accepting rape myths only helps to create environments in which many individuals–women, people with disabilities, members of the LGBTQIA+ community – are disempowered.
Rape culture is tasking victims with the burden of rape prevention. Rape culture is encouraging women to learn self-defence as though that is the only solution required to prevent rape. Rape culture is warning women to “learn common sense” or “be more responsible” or “avoid these places” or “don’t dress this way”; failing to caution men to not rape.–Melissa McEwan, Rape Culture 101
The legacy of rape culture and victim blaming affects everyone, but let’s focus on women as an example. Although most males are decent humans and thankfully many females are never the victims of rape, the existence of sexual assault and rape in our community means women do change their behaviour, whether it’s learnt (“don’t go out wearing that”) or out of fear (“I should get home before it’s too dark”).
50% of Australian women for example, don’t feel comfortable walking a short distance home after a night out for fear of being harassed or assaulted, whereas a guy more than likely would (79.2%).
Being on the receiving end of ‘locker room talk’, up skirting, catcalls, stalking, all the way to coercion, harassment and sexual violence can happen to our students. So who are we kidding? Let’s all try to be better humans and speak up instead of staying silent. Let’s put a stop to the behaviour that normalises rape culture.
Breaking the Cycle
So what can you do to break the cycle?
- Get to know yourself. Define your manhood, womanhood or whoever you want to be, free from stereotypes.
- Think critically about the media’s portrayal of gender identities, relationships, sex and violence, and be supportive of alternative portrayals–e.g. that men can be empathetic; that women can be assertive.
- Avoid using language that puts people down, objectifies or degrades.
- Speak out if you hear a sexist joke. It’s not cool and it’s just lazy.
- Respect people’s personal space and need for alone time.
- Learn to communicate openly with your partner, lover or friend; that includes both the speaking and the listening parts.
- Advocate and practice affirmative consent, never assume it’s given.
- Know that the myths we mentioned earlier are just that, myths. Take it seriously if someone tells you they were raped or sexually assaulted.
When it comes down to it, this is an issue of equality, not in the sense of ‘who has the most money or power’ but equality in building empathy, mutual respect and the ability to enjoy the same rights.
Active Bystander
An active bystander is someone who, when noticing a situation that concerns them, does something about it–they are everyday superheroes.
This might be similar to the scenario mentioned on the previous page; maybe you’re looking out for your friends, maybe you’re calling them out when they are making an offensive comment towards another person. Each situation is different, but there are some basic things you can do in any scenario:
STEP ONE.
A friend showing you a nude that was sent to them privately, hearing someone making a homophobic, sexist or racist remark towards another person or group, or noticing a peer incessantly pursuing someone who is not interested–these are all situations where you might intervene.
STEP TWO.
Interpreting an event as a problem requires judgement on your part, but as a guide, question whether the situation at hand makes you feel uncomfortable. Would you behave the same way? Would this kind of behaviour be okay if it were occurring to a friend or family member? If you are unsure about positively answering these questions, or the answer makes you feel uncomfortable, chances are this is a situation for intervention.
STEP THREE.
This is perhaps the hardest step; deciding to step up. In difficult situations we often assume that someone else will do something–surely the woman at the club has friends who will come to her aid–but if we all assume someone else will step in, nothing will happen.
STEP FOUR.
There are a number of different ways to intervene and step in–either directly or indirectly–just remember to be respectful and mindful of your own safety and theirs in whatever approach you take, whether you decide to act in the moment or check-in with the person concerned after the fact to see how they feel.
STEP FIVE.
Choosing to not participate in a negative conversation or calling-out bad behaviour; derailing an incident from occurring by distracting the would-be perpetrator (i.e. ask for the time, directions, what drink they’re having); offering assistance to the victim by listening or helping them to report the incident–these are just some of the ways you can intervene and be an active bystander.
Why it’s sometimes difficult…
Being an active bystander can be challenging at times–with great power comes great responsibility. For starters, we all fall victim to apathy at times. You might fail to notice an incident is occurring due to noise or other sensory distractions (i.e. looking down at your phone), or you might find it difficult to judge whether an incident such as the woman in the aforementioned club is at ‘high-risk’ or not– what if you misread the signs?
Research suggests that our judgement is sometimes influenced by the myths we mentioned earlier. What we have to remember is that these myths
are false–wearing provocative clothing does not constitute sexual availability, for example. Research also shows that people are less likely to help in situations where the perception of ‘need’ is ambiguous. The trick is to be present and notice what is occurring around you, and to
learn to be critical of our own perceptions and attitudes of others.
Second, you might feel uncertain about how to best intervene. You might not feel physically equipped to step in, or you might find the whole experience embarrassing, awkward or scary.
The thing to remember is that looking out for someone is nothing to be embarrassed about. It demonstrates empathy and concern. Being an
active bystander does not always require you confront the situation yourself. You can contribute to defusing the situation by informing
someone in a position of authority that an incident might be occurring–bar staff or campus security for example.
Helpful responses
- Seek safety and privacy.
- Encourage them to take their time and take what they say seriously.
- Remember that they want to be heard by you. You don’t have to be an expert to listen.
- Acknowledge the courage it has taken for them to disclose to you.
- Assist them to get the information they want in order to make the best decision for them.
- Support them in accessing the medical or emotional support they may want.
Not so helpful responses
- Minimising what the person says.
- Forcing the person to seek help or do something they don’t want to do.
- Insisting that they report the incident to the police.
- Asking for details that are not necessary or too much detail.
- Telling them that they need to forget about it and move on.
- Blaming yourself or the person, asking questions like “Why didn’t you try to fight them off?”. The perpetrator is 100% responsible.
- Making comments that might appear supportive, but could be upsetting, like “Where do they live? I’ll kill them”.
Your instinct might be to comfort the person with a hug
But only do so if you’re sure that they are comfortable with physical contact.
The key is to let them lead the way and to work through this process at their own pace. Be an ear and an open heart.
