Does choosing happiness work?

There are plenty of Facebook or Instagram wellness gurus telling you that you can choose happiness. Happiness is a choice. Being happy or achieving happiness is sometimes regarded as the pinnacle of existence in our society. You’ve probably heard every version of, “All I want in my life is to be happy”…

You will likely have your own thoughts about the notion that by choosing to be happy, you can actually be happy. But is there any validity to it?

Let’s break it down and look at the evidence.

Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows 🌞🌈

It’s easy to be annoyed or upset by a lot of things. We could easily rattle off a long list of irritating things. A flat car battery, struggling to pay the bills, a troublesome friendship, being unable to see a specialist medical practitioner in your town, getting the flu when your assignment is due, being on hold to Centrelink…

It’s fair to be irritated by some things in life, there’s no point glossing over it.

And sometimes life throws up situations that make happiness feel like a far distant memory… serious illness or injury, the death of a loved one. If those things happen, can you still choose to be happy?

If you’re someone with depression or anxiety, choosing to be happy can seem absurd. Maybe you’re just a little pessimistic about it all, wondering what happiness even means.

Can choosing to be happy backfire?

There is evidence to suggest that if you suppress negative emotions in a bid to be happy, it can actually exacerbate the negative emotions (Wegner, 1993). Ferguson and Sheldon stated that “Intentions [to be happy] could invite an impatient, ‘Am I there yet?’ mode of engaging in the happiness interventions” (2013, 31).

A preoccupation with being happy may mean that you miss the opportunity to develop healthy coping skills, and experience anxiety around feeling like you will never achieve the ultimate state of happiness. We all know someone who has, for too long, put on a happy face and eventually crumbled when it all got too much. So what’s all the fuss about choosing happiness then? If you do choose to be happy, how exactly should you go about it? Is there a way to ensure it doesn’t backfire?

It’s more about your intention to do things that promote overall wellbeing.

Research shows that the intention to increase happiness is crucial to the performance of ‘happiness interventions’ over a period of time, thereby resulting in the eventual increase in wellbeing (Lyubomirsky et al. 2011).

If you were to actively and intentionally seek out activities to improve your overall wellbeing, you are more likely to continue those activities and reap the benefits.

Intention to do what, exactly?

Let’s say you are convinced by this ‘intentionality’ thing. There are a whole range of things you can do to improve wellbeing and enhance happiness, in your life.

Maybe the thing you decide to tackle is physical activity and you sign up for a volleyball team. Running around at volleyball will definitely release some feel-good endorphins. Maybe you’d love to help people, and you begin volunteering at the local soup kitchen. With these two, you’re also going to be socialising. Maybe you know that you need to change your attitude and decide to write down 3 things you are grateful for each day.

Having the intention to do those things, and actually doing them, will make more of a difference to your happiness and life satisfaction than constantly telling yourself to ignore negative emotions and just be happy.

Perhaps this sounds overly simplistic. By all means, it certainly won’t suit everyone. If you have a mental illness, for example, it would be pretty advisable that you seek the help of a mental health professional. They will be much more qualified to recommend courses of action that are tailored to your situation.

If you’re simply lacking motivation and feeling a bit disgruntled with the world, intentionally engaging with activities that make you feel good can make a big difference in your life. Taking time to work on your inner voice, your judgments and attitudes can also help you to see the positive and enjoy the good things.

Yes, we are going to mention mindfulness again.

Explicitly attempting to be happy does not sit well with mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a practice rooted in the Buddhist tradition, in which one attempts to be aware of and accept the present moment. In doing this, the aim is to accept your present reality in a space that is removed from the distortion of judgments about yourself or others. We know that mindfulness has lots of benefits, including reduced stress (Brown et al. 2007). Mindfulness can include lots of different techniques. Meditation is one for sure. But there are plenty of others we have written about in the past.

If you train yourself to be aware of your surroundings, your emotions and moments in your life, you’re setting yourself up to fully embrace all that life has to offer.

To summarise…

Choosing happiness is too simplistic. Choosing to do things that promote your own wellbeing and happiness is where the answer lies.

What those things are will vary for everyone, but we know that physical activity, nutrition, and social interaction are happiness-inducing for human beings the world over. The ‘choosing’ part means you are intentional about engaging in those things, whether it be 5 minutes of meditation per day, writing down 3 things you are grateful for or joining a local choir. For tips on fostering intentional habits in your life, check out this list.

Don’t punish yourself for feeling negative emotions. Examine why you feel them, and take time to unravel and rationalise your thoughts. Make plans to do activities, or ‘happiness interventions’, and stick to them.

You’ve got nothing to lose.

If for any reason you are struggling or would like help becoming more mindful and intentional, consider booking a session with the UNE Student Counselling and Psychological Services (CAPS). They are fully qualified and registered psychologists, offering on-campus appointments and phone/video chat sessions for online students. The service is confidential and free for UNE students.

You can contact them Monday- Friday, 9am-4 pm, on (02) 6773 2897.

If there have been difficult events in your personal life or if your mental health is causing problems for your study, Advocacy & Welfare can help you request assignment extensions, special extensions of time, or apply for a remission of fees.

Contact us at advocacy@une.edu.au or (02) 6773 3116.

You’re never alone at UNE.